Dealing with toxic parents can be overwhelming. It’s important to understand that unlike other relationships and people in your life, parents are not someone you can replace. Here are 12 effective ways by which you can deal with toxic parents. Some of these might sound or seem wildly illogical to a few of you but trust me, these actually work!
1. Create Boundaries
Every person deserves to feel safe in the space they live in. The best way to deal with toxic parents and tackle harsh criticism and insensitive remarks is by creating and enforcing boundaries. Be mindful of what you share with them. Make sure you leave the space if you feel that the situation might get out of hand anytime soon. This does not imply being absurdly disrespectful.
If you are confused whether your parents are actually toxic or you are just overthinking , refer to my blog : 18 SIGNS YOUR PARENTS ARE TOXIC
2. Give Yourself Time
Giving yourself time to process things and calming your nerves can actually work wonders. Although it can be very disheartening at times when you have no control over a situation, but sparing some space and minutes to simply breathe it out really does help.
3. Get Rid Of Guilt
It’s not your fault! Toxic behavior can make you feel constantly overwhelmed, but blaming yourself in such situations is the worst thing you can do. You are keeping your room clean AND you are working hard at school. Always remember- How they choose to treat you is NOT in your hands!
4. Don’t Try To Change Them
In certain toxic situations, your parents might pressurize you to do or follow certain things. For example- Enforcing major career decisions on you or not supporting you in the slightest of your passions. Remember that your going to a college of their choice or choosing a degree you are not passionate about or even completing your college won’t make a difference! This is not how you deal with toxic parents.
Do what you love! Start practicing self care and things will eventually fall in the right place.
5. Make Yourself A Priority
Stop pleasing them! The maximum amount of time a person spends, is with themselves; in their head. Make yourself a priority because at the end of the day it’s you who you are answerable to. Start meditating, running and even ignoring or avoiding the toxic traits of your parents to feel at peace and eventually happy.
6. Reach Out To Someone You Trust
If you have a friend or counterpart in your life, whom you can truly trust or share your feelings with – DO IT! Even though the person might not help you out by getting physically involved in the situation; but they will surely listen to you and help figure things out.
7. Vent It Out
Don’t dishearten yourself if you feel that you have no one in your life to fall back onto. Start venting out emotions in the form of writing- I simply can’t emphasize this enough! Start maintaining a diary and speaking your heart out in the form of words. Trust me- You don’t even need to be consistent in the beginning. This is something which will give you so many answers and help you with your mental peace instantly and also in the long run.
8. Stop Explaining
We often feel the need to explain ourselves when we truly know that we aren’t wrong. But fact of the matter is- Toxic parents or people really don’t care about the emotions behind your explanations. If they truly cared, they would be far more sensitive about how they treat you in the first place or apologize right after.
9. Do Something Which Brings You Peace
Start a new hobby or invest in the things you are passionate about. Do subtle things which make you feel at peace. It might be something as simple as writing a journal, sketching, painting, meditating, singing, dancing or skating.
10. Avoid Things Which Trigger Their Anger Issues
If you are too young or still struggling to be financially independent and share the same space as of your parents, make sure you avoid the things which trigger their anger issues as much as possible. Words often hurt more than actions, especially when it comes from people who are expected to love you the most. The only way to deal with toxic parents with anger issues is by avoiding them.
11. Financial Freedom
Money is an asset- it can literally help you out of so many problems. If you are too young to be financially independent, I would suggest you with my whole heart to invest your time and energy in skills which can be your money maker in the long run. It can be anything like studying, dancing, singing, makeup, drawing or coding etc.
Do not waste precious minutes of your life crying over people who do not care much about you and don’t want to change for you. FOCUS ON DEVELOPING YOURSELF AND INVEST IN YOURSELF.
If you are in college, you can look out for a part-time job. BUT make sure you do not work at a place where you feel suffocated- this might worsen your situation. You can freelance online or work at a place, where the energy or vibe of the people matches with you.
12. Accept The Situation
It is very sad and difficult to accept that the people who are supposed to be loving you the most, really don’t care as much. Don’t take things to your heart. Accept that you cannot change how they choose to treat you and start focusing on yourself and your dreams and endeavors as much as you can. Trust me practicing self care and loving yourself when no one does can make you strong- it can make you a powerful, successful and a happy human.
You can also have a look at this wholesome animated video, if you want a visual insight of a bit of what I want to convey 🙂 Watch here
Conclusion:
These subtle things might not completely eradicate your problems but will definitely help you meet new people and help you heal both mentally and financially.
Choose yourself over anyone else. It’s you V/S you. Try your very best to work on yourself. Avoid things and people which make you unhappy. Manifest your dream life and work hard for it. Everything is temporary. Time is a healer and it most definitely will change things for you.
I really hope this helped you. Write down your comments below and I’ll see you in the next one 🙂